a good start

Well, my book was released on the weekend, and Monday it was on the Kindle Bestseller list in the "inspirational" category!  I also got two absolutely lovely reviews.

Nothing like feeling understood...as a writer, that is probably the number one thing I hope for when I write!  Thanks so much to all you wonderful readers, and double thanks to the people who take the time to write to me, either to review my book or to comment to me privately.  It means so much.

book release!

My book, Deep Blue Ocean, was released yesterday in the Amazon Kindle store! Here's the link:

http://www.amazon.com/Deep-Blue-Ocean-ebook/dp/B005TJM98S/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1318253160&sr=1-1

 The paperback version will be released hopefully within the week. I'll post a link as soon as it's ready.

book excerpt

Here's an excerpt from my book Deep Blue Ocean, from the chapter entitled"Forgive and Forget" Is Bogus:

     Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending that what happened wasn’t so bad.  It doesn’t mean acting like it never happened, either, in the sense that you should then immediately put yourself back in a position to have that done to you again.  From what I’ve seen and experienced, it seems like what forgiveness really entails is adjusting your reality to include what just happened, and then choosing to continue being who you’ve decided to be.  It seems, though, in many situations, what churches call forgiveness is actually just choosing to pretend that bad things won’t happen again.

     Let me illustrate.  Suppose you discover that your child was shown pornographic pictures by their camp counselor, who happens to attend your church.  You are horrified and outraged and you confront the person.  He or she at first tries to wiggle out of it, but finally confess, breaking down and crying.  He or she begs your forgiveness, saying he/she is asking God for help and going to counseling and he/she will never do anything like that again. 

     Clearly, for you to say, “I forgive you, so my kid can go camping again with you next weekend and I will let this be our little secret so you don’t have to be humiliated” is not an option.  That would not be forgiveness, it would be terrible parenting! 

     Or how about this:  A young woman is sexually assaulted on her way home from work.  Her attacker is arrested and put in jail, and he writes to the young woman, begging forgiveness and saying he is going to get help and he will never do anything like that again.  Should she then decide that when he gets out of jail, she will date him? Since after all, she forgave him! 

     That might sound ludicrous, and it is, but it is exactly what many churches tell people to do in situations that are similar.  If someone’s father or mother or spouse is the one who did something cruel or abusive or immoral or all three, and the victim goes to their pastor asking for help, what happens?  “Oh, let’s have a counseling session, and talk about why that was wrong, and pray about it, and then you have to forgive, and go back home and live with the person, and I’m sure everything will be fine now, because we prayed and you chose to forgive.”

     Forgiveness doesn’t mean you pretend it never happened!  You can absolutely forgive someone and still say, “I’m sorry, but I can’t trust you now, and that will affect our relationship in this way (fill in the blank).” 

     If someone steals from you, forgiveness doesn’t mean you hire him to work in your accounting department.

     If someone cheats on you, forgiveness doesn’t mean that you let her be gone at all hours without telling you what she is doing.

     If someone molests you, abuses you, and/or treats you cruelly, forgiveness doesn’t mean that you live with that person.

     Forgiveness is choosing to let go of the hurt and rage that naturally arises from injustice so that you can continue moving forward in your life.

news

Hey, I wrote a book. I finished it the first week of September, and it is coming out in mid-to-late October. It will be available on Amazon, either in paperback form, or in a Kindle eBook, whichever you prefer. It's called "Deep Blue Ocean" and its a collection of thoughts on God, love and water. I know, that sounds weird, so you should probably read it!

listen to "Chase the Lonely"

fans vs. Fans

I have lots of fans.

If you add together the people who have checked the "Like" box on Facebook, the people who "Follow" my musician profile on Twitter, and the people who have joined the mailing list on my website, that's a fair amount of people.

If all the people who have said they are my fans actually bought my singles, came to my gigs, and played my music in their homes for their friends and family, I would be making a reasonably decent living from my music.

But, you see, there's a BIG difference between fans and what I will call Fans. A Fan is someone who truly, seriously loves my music - who will rush right over and buy my new songs as they come out - who will enthusiastically share the links that I post - who I can count on to help spread the noise. And they are actually Fans based on my music and my musician persona, they aren't just enthusiastic because they are my friends or family.
Friends and family, as wonderful and necessary as they are, may not actually love my music for its own sake - they love and support me because they are my friends and family, not necessarily because they are a Fan.

I am a Fan myself...there are musicians, authors, painters and business owners of whom I am a Fan, and I happily tout these people's art/services/whatever without ever being paid, or even being pushed or nagged or bribed.

There's a certain author I know who, after many years of publishing excellent non-fiction, has just released his first novel. Its FANTASTIC. This author is my friend, but beyond that, I absolutely love his book. I have posted, tweeted, linked, tagged, talked about, praised, and otherwise plugged his books dozens of times in the few weeks it has been out. I am a true Fan of his work, and he doesn't have to ask me, pay me, send me free stuff, or anything else to get me to help him spread the word - HIS WORK DOES THAT!

As soon as I start talking about true Fans, I think of Bee. I am not sure exactly how Bee discovered my music in the first place, but she is a Fan. When I post something on my website or music page, she comments right away, always looking forward to the next song. When I DO release a song, Bee is the first to buy it.

I'll tell you what, I LOVE BEE. The way I see it, being an artist or musician is a sort of crescent shape - creation and performance make the crescent shape, but when someone else hears and loves what has been created and performed, it forms a complete circle. Bee completes the circle for me with her appreciation and love for my songs.
Believe it or not, I actually think about Bee when I am about to release a song, and feel a tingle in my toes: "Is Bee going to love this song?"

Although Bee is not my only true Fan, of course, because I have personally interacted with her several times (thank you, Facebook!), her face is the one I associate with my Fans, and I truly care about pleasing Bee when I am working on a song. Because without her (and the others like her) my circle is incomplete.

No matter how many fans I get, they don't really change my life much. It's polite and nice of them to click "Like", but its the Fans, the encouragers, the praisers, the buyers, the sing-along-ers, the email- and letter-writers, the rush-out-to-tell-their-friends-ers, that really make being an independent musician possible.

So THANK YOU! To Bee, and the other Fans I have - I play FOR YOU. Please let me know how I can serve you better! I love you all.

observations

First of all, could I just say "WOW!!" in the general direction of my darling TH? Sometimes, I just feel the need to say WOW! All those years, I had no idea....but anyway. I will just say that I am glad I didn't know what I was missing, because discovering it now is AMAZING.

So it's Monday....as I've often said "Monday always knows." I don't want to borrow trouble, but at the same time its best to be prepared, and I hope I am. It's a lovely, sunny, breezy morning, though, and I have already got some difficult business taken care of, and my little K went to work with TH this morning. She was all ready at about six! and was bouncing excitedly outside our bedroom door when I got up, saying "Is Daddy ready? Is it time to go?" She loves organizing, and she is going to organize his fabric samples today, by texture, color and who knows what else.

My son J1, who is now sixteen, constantly leaves his phone lying around. I would never snoop, since he's a VERY good and responsible person and I respect his privacy, but GOLLY, its hard not to when he leaves it in my room all the time! Sometimes, when we go to bed in the evening, the kids aren't quite done hanging out with us, so they come in and watch TV in our room. Since the TV in here is less than a quarter of the size of the one downstairs, we take this as a big compliment! But anyway, my airheaded J1 leaves his phone on the floor in here almost every night.

So far, I haven't opened it, although yeah, part of me would love to know what he is SAYING to all those girls that are blowing up his phone all the time...